


Br0ken Bride

by taciturnTangerine (Nhitori)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Car Accidents, F/M, Like death, SCIENCE!, Some gentle smut, Stuff happens., Theres also fluff, This fic is spoiled from the start
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-08 22:47:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1958994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nhitori/pseuds/taciturnTangerine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I crashed before the birth of christ<br/>Pterodactyls swarming<br/>You died in 1989<br/>Gotta get back to that morning in May<br/>Keep you in bed<br/>Never Escape<br/>Holding you close</p><p>Listen to you breathe in the evening glow<br/>Of fading light and cooling space"</p><p>Your name is Dave Strider and boy has love screwed you over.</p><p>( Based on "Broken Bride" by Ludo)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Remember in the summer when I held your hand?_

Your name is Dave Strider and you are honestly bored out of your mind. Bored, bored, and again, fucking bored.

Why are you bored?

Well that's easy. You're bored because your silly platonic life partner Jade Harley is speaking at a silly plant convention about silly pumpkins. Apparently, the stuff she'd been giving them to make them grow had actually been working. And the minute you showed up and calmed the shitstorm of bigass New England crows, they stopped disappearing.

And apparently, this pumpkin megagrow concoction was some sort of a big deal. You don't know. Her weird island is kind of overrun with them now. You don't know why a rowdy murder of crows from Massachusetts decided to settle down on a weirdass island in the middle of the Pacific that one narcoleptic furry botanist lives on, but they did. And you calmed them. Made them stop eating mutant pumpkins. With your massive power of crow taming.

Maybe you should have been a falconer. Then Jade wouldn't have any sort of logic to back up dragging you along to this silly plant convention of hers. As it is, apparently, "there are plant fossils too, so learning about plants that haven't been dead for a millennia should help you notice trends in the dead plants!" is enough reason to bring a paleontologist to the American Society of Plant Biologists.

You do not agree. Wallowing around in hallways with a bunch of nerds who don't speak English is not your idea of a good time. Paleontology nerds might not speak English either but at least they're the cool type of nerd because you are associated with them.

You are only associated with one plant nerd and that is Jade Harley. Jade Harley is the sort of girl who can't be cool, even by association. Yeah, you love her and all! It's just facts. Even now the girl's wearing a pair of freakin' dog ears for confidence. Wasn't that what getting all dolled up for this thing was about? Why even wear the cute dress if she's just gonna add ridiculous ears?

You sigh. At least the place is air conditioned. And at least you're meeting up with Jade's /other/ platonic guest at a coffeeshop. You might be offended except that she didn't drag him here. Only the closest of platonic life partners need to be dragged to plant conventions unwillingly.  
\- --------

You are no longer at all relieved and you might become offended just to make your bad mood more valid. The coffee here sucks and now you're stuck listening to this bullshit. Of course Tavros came of his own free will, he's been in love with Jade for like. Eighty years. It's painful listening to them talk because it's got that awkward 'we are friends' feel that's only ever inserted when romantic and probably also sexual tension is hanging in the air so thick you can't even cut it with a knife. You'd need a hacksaw.

Sipping this shitty-ass coffee is also painful. You need a distraction. So you turn to the other girl at the table. Wow, grudge much? Literally. She's got longass black hair and she's buried in a tablet of some sort so you can't even see her face. At least her hair is curlier than a certain horror film, though she's about as pale and boney looking. Might as well talk to her since she's sitting with you for some reason.

"So." You get her attention and she looks up quickly, hair flying back from her face and revealing deep pink eyes and very heavy red lipstick. An albino, huh. Must dye her hair. "Why are you here?"

"Oh right!" Her voice is more chipper than you expected, what with her creepy appearance. She holds out a hand sheepishly, and you shake it, then push your sunglasses back up on your nose. The fuck was that, Dave Strider? That's a nervous tic. You don't get those. "I'm Aradia Megido and Tavros here dragged me along to this because he wanted to see Jade's presentation but didn't want to travel alone. I have enough frequent flyer miles I didn't really mind. I did not, however, expect to be dragged here as well. I'm an archaeologist, what could I possibly want with PlantBiologyCon?"

"You're an archaeologist?" Wow Dave what a fucking dumb what's the matter with you. You deal with attractive people you've never met before all the time. This shouldn't be any different. Stop. You're not dumbfounded you're cool. "Oh uh, I mean. Cool. I'm a paleontologist so I'm in a very similar boat. It's like you're a wooden raft and I'm an inflatable one. Not that I'm saying one career is better or anything! Just very similar but also different."

Why. The fuck. Are you getting flustered by her?  
Jesus hell Strider. You really need to get laid. Chicks do not do this to you. Chicks you just met do not do this to you. Only John Egbert has ever flustered you this much and oh wait that's it. 

You guess you're attracted to inevitable loss, aren't you? Aradia here, after the con, you won't see her again. It would be weird of you to ask to keep in touch. Just like with John, you knew you were just the token of his experimental phase, that when he mellowed out he'd go back to being straight. Something about that just makes you lose your mind. Lose your head. Lose your cool.

Aradia Megido, professional girl you just met, makes you lose your cool. Not cool. What is this a Disney fucking fairytale? Not even, all the more recent ones take more than one day. Unless the guy is a villain. Are you a villain? Unlikely. If anything, she's a villain. She's scary. Like Jade Harley and fuckin Nico DiAngelo from Percy Jackson had a baby. She's so... happy. 

Cheerful as all hell girl, with long black hair, combat boots, and an outfit that could only be described as gothic. Also, she works with dead stuff. You work with dead stuff too. Your heart flutters. No it doesn't, that's not cool. Aradia Megido is FRIGHTENING. And yet. Wow.

"Oh wow what a coincidence! Heh, and here I was thinking I wouldn't be able to talk to anybody here. They'd be all 'plants' and I'd be all 'fossils' and it wouldn't work at all." She laughs a bit, rubbing the back of her neck. That's a nervous tic too. Could she like you? You bet she likes you. No she doesn't. Stop being ridiculous.

This isn't fucking Disney.  
\- --------------------  
 **-apocalypseArisen started pestering Dave Strider at 1400 hours EST-  
** AA: Hey y0u  
TG: what the fuck its like three am here who are you  
AA: If it's three am why did y0u reply immediately?  
TG: touche  
TG: i was awake anyway working on some sick beats  
AA: 0r analyzing a fern f0ssil.  
TG: who are you and how do you know that  
AA: C00l y0ur jets Dave  
AA: I f0und y0u 0n twitter that's h0w I kn0w.  
AA: D0n't be surprised when pe0ple actually read y0ur tweets.  
AA: 0r d0es that n0t happen 0ften?  
AA: 0o0  
AA: Y0u're n0t quite as c00l as y0u say huh?  
TG: screw you i am the coolest of the cool  
AA: N0t as c00l as me.  
TG: are you kanye west or the ghost of a motherfucking t rex  
AA: Better.  
TG: impossible  
AA: I'm Aradia! Fr0m the c0nventi0n a week ag0!  
TG: so thats how you spell it  
AA: N0 surprise? Seri0usly? I went and made it all dramatic t00.  
TG: well i figure youre creepy enough to do something like this  
TG: what would surprise me is if you were suddenly wearing pigtails in a pink schoolgirl uniform  
TG: or if you were behaving like "the world is dark and ugly and heres a poem i wrote as i bled through my ears from listening to bad emo bands that sound like prepubescent boys with throat cancer"  
TG: basically id only be surprised if you happened to match  
\- apocalypseArisen sent the file "Konnichiwa.pdf"-  
TG: im not opening that  
TG: why the fuck is it a pdf  
TG: who even does that why did you do that  
TG: i bet its secretly either  
TG: a-weird cheerful goth subculture porn  
TG: or b-some virus that will wipe out my hard drive  
AA: A pdf file can't be a virus.  
TG: are you some sort of computer genius no i dont think so since youre using pdf

Wow Dave. Digging your own grave here. And you like this girl? Jeeze.

****AA: My friend is a c0mputer genius...  
AA: Except we're b0th bad at cameras and all 0f 0ur pictures end up as pdfs we can't figure 0ut h0w t0 change it  
TG: the internet  
AA: N0 luck there either it's like 0ne 0f the 0lder digital cameras with specific upl0ad s0ftware that 0nly 0ne pers0n in a generati0n 0f family can p0ssibly understand. Usually paternal figures.  
TG: convert the file or i wont open it  
AA: What ab0ut the p0rn c0ncern?  
TG: my brother made this  
TG: http://SmuppetPalooza.co.us.org.com.wow.dog  
TG: im used to weird shit  
AA: Why did I click that link.  
TG: the subconscious thought that i might be in some of it compelled you to look before your conscious mind realized that you want nothing to do with feltcovered puppet ass, even if my ass was also involved  
AA: 0/////-//////0 N0!!  
AA: H0w very inappr0priate 0f y0u.  
TG: hey megido  
AA: What.  
TG: i can detect sarcasm from  
TG: how many miles away am i  
TG: im too lazy to look  
TG: but yeah  
AA: Maybe.  
\- apocalypseArisen sent the file Konnichiwa.jpeg-  
TG: a fucking jpeg seriously havent you ever heard of png  
TG: whatever ill humor you  
TG: !!!!!!!!!!!!!  
TG: what the fuck  
AA: My sister used t0 put me in c0splays and drag me t0 c0nventi0ns with her. I have 0n hand many kawaii desu ph0t0s.  
TG: you had a fucking photograph on hand of you in pigtails and a pink seifuku  
TG: not quite schoolgirl uniform but close enough  
AA: Yes. I'm just full 0f surprises.  
TG: one surprise  
AA: 0ne surprise is all the capacity y0u say I have. S0 yes. Full 0f them.  
TG: fair enough  
AA: Y0u suddenly g0t very quiet. N0t quiet but I mean. Talking less.  
TG: its three in the fucking morning i cant consistently produce these run on sentences even factories shut down for the night eventually  
AA: I have t0 g0 d0 s0mething I'll be right back!  
TG: okay cool i guess ill just wait here  
TG: warning i might fall asleep  
AA: hey 2end me a diick piic  
TG: im guessing that youre aradias "computer genius" friend  
AA: what no ii'm totally AA look I u2e weird emoticon2  
AA: 0_0  
AA: al2o ii riibbiit *riibbiit*  
TG: aradia ribbits oh my god thats adorable  
TG: dude she just left its seriously obvious that you arent her also you type differently what the fuck is up with that  
AA: okay fiine ii'm 2ollux  
TG: whats your relation to aradia cause like we were sort of flirting back there and i mean like if you two are like gonna be a thing or are a thing or whatever ill back off and even though youre probably a scrawnyass nerd dont pummel me  
AA: ii'm her platoniic liife partner and okay yeah you probably don't know what that ii2  
TG: no need to explain  
TG: i can see the bar going up there AA is typing but shut it okay  
TG: i know bloody damn well what a platonic life partner is  
AA: do you now  
TG: yeah now my only question is are you platonically married  
AA: nope becau2e ii'm actually romantiically engaged two 2omebody  
TG: cool me and my plp arent either cause like  
TG: we realized hey what if one of us really romantically loves someone but then loses them because they wanna be married but no  
AA: cool cool  
TG: so why did you ask for a dick pic anyway  
TG: what were you gonna do if i actually sent it  
AA: eiither laugh at the pathetiicne22 and call you a creep or be iimpre22ed and 2how iit to AA two 2ee iif that make2 her 2hut up about how great you are and go out wiith you  
TG: so your plans if i actually sent it hinged on me either having a tiny dick or a huge one  
TG: what if i have an average sized dick sollux  
TG: what then  
TG: also you mentioned she thinks im great id like to hear more on that  
AA: ii don't 2ee why you're an a22  
AA: eh iit'2 probably 2ome 2ciientii2t thing  
AA: oh look 2he'2 comiing back bye  
TG: bye  
AA: 0kay I'm back  
TG: can i sleep now  
TG: no offense but your plp is super draining  
TG: and its nearly sunrise here  
AA: 0h! Right. Well. G00dnight!  
AA: um  
AA:  <3  
\- apocalypseArisen ceased pestering turntechGodhead- 

She likes you. You're halfway across the world from her right now. She likes you.

Come morning you might just have a beautiful archaeologist girlfriend.


	2. Chapter 2

_On the southern shore, finding fossils in the sand_

Your name is Dave Strider and this is the best relationship you've ever had.

Six weeks ago, Aradia Megido sent you a text heart at some ungodly hour. As revenge, you asked her out at some ungodly hour back in her time zone. She was probably awake then, but she wasn't about to end the pattern. She said yes to you at another ungodly hour.

Basically, excluding one day, your relationship so far has been quite the adventure in ungodly hours. As it turns out, Aradia and Sollux live in Hawaii. The white-ass motherfuckers stick out like the sorest of thumbs there, but they live there. And since you've often likened the creation of Jade's island to one of Hawaii's volcanos projectile vomiting steaming hot magma into the middle of the ocean, that's not too far away. You can't see Hawaii from Jade's island, but she gets a personal ferry anytime you need to get to an airport over on the main archipelago. Which is often.

So if they live so close, why all the ungodly hours?

Well let's see. Aradia left for a trip the day you returned from your last one, then a day after she got back you left for another one. When you came back from that one, you spent a day at her house rather than going straight back to Jade's, drove her to the airport, then took the ferry over home. And now you're going to simultaneously be on a trip, both in South America. Probably different parts, though. You work for different collaborates so it's unlikely you'd ever work together.

Anyway, though, here you are. At the airport in some South American country. Whichever one has fossils. You don't keep track of locations very well. You just know the humidity is like walking head-on into a wall of overflowing washing machine, and the bugs have stepped into some sort of growth beam because holy shit what sort of hellspawn bee is that. You get the feeling you're going to hate it here. Just out of the airport and already finding Satan's butthole's creations.

You sigh and get a taxi. Today is just a fly day, thank god. The trip was exhausting. You're just going to get to your hotel, collapse on the bed, and be so fucking glad that there's not any substantial jet lag, so you can just go right to sleep.

The cab driver is obnoxiously talkative. Ugh. He needs to shut up. He seems high or something cause he keeps swearing casually and you're not too comfortable being in a car controlled by him but you're already here so you don't have much choice. You're just glad there's no kid traveling with you or anything because then you might report this guy. As it is, when he does somehow manage to get you to the hotel in one piece, you don't tip him. If he's going to endanger your life he doesn't need any more cash than you're obligated to give him. He takes the payment, gives you an eerie smile, then drives off. Your spine shivers a bit. Man, that guy was creepy. You turn around and face the hotel, though, heading on in.

It's a pretty good place, actually. On the scale of hotels you've been in during your many travels it probably places somewhere in the top twenty. It's not, as many books seem to think occurs any time you travel to a less well-known country, a shack with a hole in the floor as a toilet and a bedbug infested cot. You don't think you've ever seen somewhere quite that bad. Though you did go somewhere with bedbugs once and boy was making sure you didn't bring them home a nightmare.

Speaking of bugs, there is a large one on your ceiling. Holy deathbug. Okay, you actually know what it is. A hercules beetle, thanks Animal Crossing, but that doesn't change the fact that it's on your damn ceiling. And it's freaking you out. It may be harmless but it's huge. Ugh. You shouldn't have taken this assignment. Whatever. You lay down and pull the blanket over your head to keep the beetle out, and you're asleep in seconds.

The next day, it's off to the worksite. Ugh.

There's a lot of bugs.

Oh well, you just ignore the masses of ridiculously impossible insects and report to the person in charge of your collaborate. "Hey uh sir any chance we can get some high power bugspray up in here or something?"

"Dave! Hey. I need to tell you something that I forgot to earlier like some sort of numbheaded shitstain. You're the only asshole I didn't tell. We've got a few archaeologists in from another collaborate because apparently they've also been studying fucking paleoanthropology or something and we're expecting to find human fossils here too." Karkat explains to you, and you nod in comprehension. Foulmouthed fucker somehow does really well in a management position. You guess that'll last until somebody doesn't want to be yelled at.

You move over to where he directs you to start doing things. You've hardly even got there when you're slammed with a force from behind, and suddenly there are arms around your neck. Not cool, whoever that is, not cool.

"Hey you." Nevermind it's plenty cool you recognize that voice. Except now you're confused. Only momentarily, though.

Aradia did mention fossils at the convention, but what would an archaeologist want with fossils instead of artifacts? Paleoanthropology, that's what.

You can't help but chuckle under your breath (once you've got it back after she went and knocked it out of you) and as soon as she lets up on her hold you turn around to face her, and roll your eyes behind your sunglasses as you cross your arms. "Yeah, hey, so I'm guessing youre one of the paleoanthropologists the stunning fuckwad Mister Vantas neglected to tell me about till half a minute ago."

"Yes I am!" She nods and her hair (which is pulled back in a ponytail) still manages to flounce a bit. What a cutie.

"Did you happen to know ahead of time that we'd be working together here?"

"I had absolutely no idea. It's pretty great that we are, though. It's weird when your long distance relationship technically only lives a ferry ride away." She smiles at you, then her eyes get menacing, in a comical way, "I'm warning you now though, I can get VERY scary when I work..."

"I'll have to keep that in mind, oh frightening one." You chuckle a bit, and she laughs as well. Gosh, is her laugh weird. She would probably be that one girl in every horror movie who does nothing but giggle quietly and you just know some crazy misfortune is going to befall you because of that laugh. Your cheerful girlfriend straight out of a horror movie. It's fucking trippy, and you love it.

She's going to destroy you.

This trip is probably the best job of your career yet. Not that you find very many things, and it's not even paying really well, but for once you really like the people you're working with. Sure Karkat's cool, and Terezi is (somehow) really good at figuring out where to dig, but beyond those two you always end up with some obnoxious nark or two. This time, you have Aradia, and she's just as amazing here as she is in your social interactions. She can identify skulls and artifacts at a glance, more than you can do with nearly anything. She really is scary when she works, though. She goes into some sort of weird focused mode, where every move she makes is efficient and gets work done.

Of course, when she's in work mode like this, you can't really talk to her. If you do she'll just tune it out, and if you get in her way she'll just glare, no matter who you are. You don't mind, though.

Being around her is absolutely amazing. Watching her is amazing.

Aradia Megido is amazing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, (super short) But I needed to get out some relationship development with Dave and Jade. And deal with Aradia's issues.

_Even big, bad, bad boys get scared at night. It keeps them sane._

\- gardenGnostic started pestering turntechGodhead at 1200 hours EST-  
GG: dave!!  
TG: jade!!  
GG: yes, i coerced you into using your mortal enemy!  
GG: the dreaded exclamation point!  
GG: cursed the strider family generations ago!  
TG: jade shut up  
GG: hey what's got your panties in a twist??  
TG: im just tired  
TG: its past midnight here  
GG: ah. right.  
GG: how goes this trip, anyway??  
TG: pretty good  
GG: better because SHE's there too, am i right? ;)  
TG: i will admit that is a yes  
TG: except that shes not here too right now she had to go to the airport earlier today  
GG: oh dang i missed my teasing opportunities to embarass you if she looked over at the screen!  
GG: phooey.  
TG: phooey indeed  
GG: oh yeah so i've been talking to sollux!  
GG: he's gonna teach me how to make a powerpoint that doesn't look like ass.  
TG: oh come on jade your aspb point didnt look like ass  
GG: yes it did! i used neon colors, comic sans, and rainbow transitions! i need to learn how to make something look interesting but still professional!  
TG: if it looked like ass then it looked like gay schoolboy ass and thats not a bad thing  
GG: is too!  
TG: its not  
TG: now come on and be quiet i dont have the energy to deal with pointless neverending arguments right now  
GG: why not??  
TG: aradia seemed kind of upset earlier i think i should save it for helping her  
GG: i see...  
TG: in other news have you and tavros just finally shut the fuck up and kissed yet  
GG: dave!!!!!  
GG: no.  
TG: youre painful to listen to please just mash your lips together like the deranged mating birds you are  
GG: deranged mating birds?  
GG: bird mating dances are cool! not deranged!  
TG: then be fucking cool and kiss the boy  
GG: it's late there  
GG: you must be delusional  
\- gardenGnostic ceased pestering turntechGodhead-

You sigh. Jade. Jade is fucking great and she needs to just kiss Tavros already. Goddamm midnight thoughts. You should be asleep, but Aradia said she'd send you a message when she got wifi on the plane. Which should be in about half an hour at this point. You sigh, leaning back in your chair.

About three months into your relationship, you discovered that no, Aradia was not absolutely perfect. It turns out that under her cheery demeanor, she has manic depression. Sudden spells where she will feel like nothing has a reason, and it's exhausting to deal with but you just want to make her happy again because. You love her.

Five months in and you still haven't said it yet, but you love her. A whole damn lot, and hell if anything is going to keep you from her. Keep you from making her happy.

Your computer dings with the sound of an incoming message.

\- apocalypseArisen started pestering turntechGodhead at 1230 hours EST-  
AA: hey dave.  
TG: sup ara  
AA: n0thing.  
AA: i'm 0n the plane.  
TG: cool  
AA: i guess s0.  
TG: you doing okay?  
AA: n0t really.  
TG: whats wrong?  
AA: n0thing i just  
AA: feel bad  
AA: 0n0  
TG: bad how?  
AA: just bad  
TG: aradia i can tell theres more  
TG: i have bs radar you know  
TG: whats the matter  
AA: i'm hearing things.  
TG: like  
TG: your ears are working at peak capacity and thats weird  
TG: or its really quiet and theres strange noises that are coming from somewhere but who knows where  
AA: n0  
AA: hearing things like v0ices in my head  
TG: shit  
AA: it's n0thing new.  
AA: i was diagn0sed with mild schiz0phrenia a few years ag0

Well shit. Lucky for the both of you, though, you actually know what schizophrenia is. Ignoring its portrayal in the media. Schizophrenia is NOT some lunatic thing, schizophrenics only have one personality. They just hear voices, and those voices often tell them horrible things.

AA: it's fine it just  
AA: makes me feel awful  
AA: i wish i hadn't left yet  
AA: it's an0ther th0usand 0r s0 miles bef0re i can get s0me0ne t0 h0ld 0nt0 me  
TG: aradia  
TG: its okay  
TG: you know what it is and you know theyll be gone eventually  
AA: what if they're right th0ugh  
AA: what if i am w0rthless  
TG: hush  
TG: aradia youre far from worthless  
TG: you could never be worthless

TG: i love you


End file.
